tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13529971.post5453819964331774022..comments2023-10-27T14:50:22.248-05:00Comments on intern[life]: midnight in the garden of [life] and [work]ercwttmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16077203928095959356noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13529971.post-77524833296003543302015-09-16T18:05:27.081-05:002015-09-16T18:05:27.081-05:00Sounds like you have a healthy compartmentalizatio...Sounds like you have a healthy compartmentalization of your life. In some respects, 'career advancement' is what you want it to be. What you want your career to look like. I see no reason why a person should devote every moment of their life to a firm (unless it is their own). I say kudos to you for keeping a portion of life back for yourself.matthewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05873339548253411013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13529971.post-76820899586087495512015-09-14T08:26:39.070-05:002015-09-14T08:26:39.070-05:00Keep pushing for what works for you. You seem to r...Keep pushing for what works for you. You seem to respect your client and your employer, that's the important piece. If they don't respect you and your time...then there are bigger issues.Lorahttp://www.l-2-design.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13529971.post-73890129322255581242015-09-08T21:41:50.112-05:002015-09-08T21:41:50.112-05:00(continued from above)
I applied for a full-time ...(continued from above)<br /><br />I applied for a full-time position at a well known large tax firm in Kansas City. They turned me down for the full-time regular job but instead offered me a higher paying seasonal position. It wasn't what I wanted but I liked the hiring manager, so I said okay. Long story short, I quit and then my boss called, asked me if she got rid of the thorn in my side would I be interested in returning? I said yes. I genuinely liked working for her and I enjoyed my job.. I just wasn't fond of my teammate. I decided putting up with crappy attitudes and rudeness wasn't worth any amount of money... if I can't get the tiniest bit of respect from my manager and coworkers, I'm not willing to waste my time! So I came back to the biggest disaster I've ever experienced in my professional career. I immediately was thrown into 18 hour days with no end in sight. Like you, I worked a hop, skip and two jumps from my office. This is good AND bad. People expect you to work longer because you're closer and the commute is shorter (so somehow working until 2am when your coworkers sneak out at 1am and make it home by 2am was the same as me walking home at 2am). After months and months of putting on my nice face, I exploded. Mostly from exhaustion. Overnight, I was overtaken by vitriolic hate for my coworker that I could never recover from. I had put myself in the exact same position as always trying to prove myself (hoping it would lead to a full time job) but in doing that, I forgot to do EVERYTHING for myself. I forgot that I was worth taking the time to care for myself. My career isn't the be all and end all of my happiness. On the upside I suppose, is that I worked so much and had so little time to spend it, I was able to amass a pretty nice savings account and have now turned down an offer for another season at the company and I feel totally okay with it. I'm taking time to take some classes, learn to play the violin, hit the gym, and contemplate starting a business. <br /><br />If your company demands that much of you to get anywhere, maybe it isn't the right company. Maybe it isn't the right manager. But from the very beginning, you have to put your foot down and make your boundaries clear of what is acceptable and what is not. If you start answering your e-mails at midnight, people come to expect that from you. The minute that you don't because you've decided sitting around the table with a group of friends is more important to you, THEN you become the guy that can't advance because now you've become a no person instead of a yes person and people hate that and begin to think you're not dependable and reliable. If you start out being a no person, nobody will think twice when you say no. Say no. You're worth it.Missynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13529971.post-34349465179607406762015-09-08T21:41:02.618-05:002015-09-08T21:41:02.618-05:00As a non-architect, I can only come at this from a...As a non-architect, I can only come at this from a finance perspective. <br />Your colleague who says you'll never get anywhere if you don't answer your e-mails immediately... are they single? Divorced? Without kids? Overweight? <br /><br />As an admitted co-dependent myself, I can with 100% confidence tell you that you're not crazy for putting yourself first. You should work to live, not live to work. Living to work will with guaranteed certainty lead to burnout. I had been putting my job first ever since the downturn in the economy because I was terrified of being without work again for a long stretch of time. I literally (no really, literally) nearly killed myself for my job and took myself on a ride to crazy town trying to please my boss so she wouldn't kick me to the curb. I bent over backwards to please someone who can only be compared to Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada because there is no other comparison. She was without a doubt the WORST manager i've ever had and I tried so hard to please her, coming in early, staying late, asking how high every time she said jump, and making sure to jump a little higher than she asked me to because I wanted to prove to her that I was worth my job (and most importantly the bucket loads of money she was paying me that I didn't even need). Do you know what that got me? Nothing. Not one cent extra and certainly no respect because I definitely didn't have any respect for myself! The minute I tried to stand up for myself and tell her no, I wouldn't be available to come into the office two hours early to cover for another team because I had a doctors appointment, she immediately threatened to fire me and forced me to go through the charade of FMLA paperwork. I hired an attorney, it was a whole big thing. Because I'd finally stood up for myself. FINALLY I said HEY! My mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing is more important to me than this job, your approval, and any amount of money you're going to give me. When I left that job, I needed SO much recovery time to process what I'd been doing to myself for the past four years. I took a part-time job at a company I love with a manager who said to me "Listen, I don't care if you want the day off so you can go blow bubbles on the roof (a favorite time waster of mine!) because who am I to decide whether you sitting at the park flying kites is less important than your coworker who needs to pick her kid up from the bus stop. That's not my job as your manager." And then I was like This. THIS is what I needed always. I found a place that allows me to take the time to do what I need to stay sane. It is a part time job of course and doesn't even cover my rent, so I ventured back out into the classifieds after a couple years. (cont)<br />Missynoreply@blogger.com