Monday, December 19, 2022

[millennial]reideeer

 



let's check in on the [millennial] reindeer and see how life is for the team now that they’re in their early 40’s.

 

dasher

- not as quick as he use to be.
- still talks about the championship reindeer game of ‘99 and how he could have won state had coach put him in.
- divorced from his high school sweetheart, vixen, as she was tired of him constantly talking about his glory days of christmas past.
- recently got into "clausefit"; won’t stop talking about it.

 

 


dancer

- kicked off her college "deerleading" squad for anger issues.
- now a “dance mom.”
- recently joined "click clok" to stay up to date on viral dance trends, it makes her feel hip.
- slightly bitter she’s never been asked to be a guest on “dancing with the christmas stars” but still watches anyway.

 

 

 

prancer

- typical 80’s child star saga.
- one mildly hit movie, then spent most of the 90’s getting “high” with blitzen.
- involved in a high profile trial involving the “hit and run of a senior citizen.”
- after being acquitted in the “grandma case” got his life back on track. he’s now a barista at caribou coffee where he enjoys being recognized…occasionally.
-will also tell you he has the worlds largest christmas album collection, only original vinyl of course.

 

 

vixen

- divorced from dasher and couldn’t be happier….although she still stalks him on IG and saw he recently joined "clausefit"…which she finds…interesting.
- gets BOWtox injections.
- recently referred to as a RILF.
- addicted to “the real carriage house wives of the north pole.”
- has a secret Onlyfawns account.

 

 


 comet

- got REALLY into astrology during the pandemic.
- is attracted to blitzen but wont date him because he’s a stag-atarius….and a “sled head.”
- let’s everyone know she’s now a vegan, which impresses no one…because she’s a reindeer.
- always on the look out for new flavors of organic, vegan, gluten free “caribou-cha.”

 

 

 cupid

- needs to get her love life out of “the rut.”
-tired of meeting guys on “mating” apps only to have them “flake” on her.
-vixen tells her it’s because she has “resting grinch face.”
-but she doesn’t have the disposable income vixen has to get BOWtox every 12 days of christmas!
-wonders where vixen gets that extra cash….
-reads a lot of elf help books.
-tired of being told to get on the dance floor by wedding dj’s when they play “all the jingle ladies.” 

 

 

 donner

- DONner, The DONinator, DONarooskie
-called the “hoof” of wall street.
-bad addiction to “florida snow” in the late 00’s, supplied by blitzen.
-now off the “nose candy” he feels even more “driven” than in his 20’s.
-early investor in NFT’s (Non Flammable Trees)
-needs to work on being “present” outside the office.
-takes “stable tennis” lessons on the weekends to network.
-thinking about starting an investment podcast called “make it rein."

 

 


 blitzen

-huge “grateful sled” and “deer-y garcia” fan.
-still chasing the “high” he had working for big red.
-bakes with mrs. claus.
-nicknamed “bing” for his “white christmas” parties.
-dislikes random drug testing.
-tried to convinced santa to change christmas to april 20th… you know...for the warmer weather.
-now spends most of his time trying to get “magic grass” legalized at the north pole, which basically means doing “research” and commenting on facebook. 

 

 

 


 rudolph (gen z)

- not a worry in the world.
- most “yoke” of all the reindeer.
- hasn’t “burnt” out yet.
- has no real talent, yet has a million youtube subscribers simply by posting his “does it glow” videos.
- because of this, he makes more than all the other reindeer. (who’s laughing and calling him names now!)
- still on parents phone/data plan.
- funny online but extremely awkward af irl.
- swears he saw an old coworker on Onlyfawns.

 

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

thank[full]

 there's nothing better than going back home to visit friends and family during the holidays...especially if you love them and miss them dearly. thanksgiving found us back in kansas with all sorts of family enjoying food, adventures, stores and good times.  to say i'm thankful for these people is an understatement.





Friday, November 25, 2022

[chicago style] wedding

 a whirlwind trip to chicago one weekend meant lots of good times with old friends and very few pictures.  guess we'll just have mostly memories.... especially of the best breakfast i've ever had in my life.
































Monday, October 31, 2022

[arch]inktober 2022 week 4

glass block
streetscape


local landmark

imaginary
pyramid






facade





overgrown





@pleasehatethesethings


spanish colonial
zaha hadid