Sunday, July 29, 2012

deal or no deal[breakers]

last week, as i was cleaning my apartment, i found a piece of paper i had written a list on several years ago.  the list was that of [dealbreakers] when it came to dating women.  if you happen to be unfamiliar with the term [dealbreaker] it's a trait or characteristic about someone, that upon finding out, makes you no longer interested.  although the list was written somewhat in jest, i thought it would be entertaining to share a few [dealbreakers] i had written down.

-fake boobs
-dress their pets up in human clothes
-too much or badly applied makeup
-wears mom jeans
-drug user
-constant whale tale
-extremely messy apartment
-skanky dresser
-country music fan
-red hair
-video gamer
-tongue piercing

like i said, the list was written to be funny, but there was a little truth behind everything on the list.  reading back over on what a younger version of me had written down, got me thinking.  granted, i'm not that much older or wiser than i was when i wrote the list, i can tell you, i don't necessarily have the same view on [dealbreakers] i had back then.

in a way, focusing on [dealbreakers] is very negative.  constantly being on the look out for bad traits might distract you from finding out something quite wonderful about a person.  it also seems a little odd to consider everyone out there a match, until they loose enough points to make them [un-dateable].  however maybe when you're in your twenties, while you're still finding out about yourself, it is best to assume you can date anyone.  how else are you to learn what you are and are not attracted to.

over the years, what i've found myself attracted to has changed quite a bit.  to be honest, at 18, i was attracted to any blond who looked good in a bikini.  luckily my twenties found me broadening my scope, refining characteristics and becoming far less shallow.  there are a hundred little traits women can possess that are wondeful in my opinion, but there are four main qualities i find myself attracted to.

-sympathetic / considerate
-passionate / driven

quite a different list than a had a few years back. it's far less negative and allows you to be surprised by someone you may have dismissed.  if a woman has the above mentioned qualities, there might just be a red-headed, tongue pierced, trash talking,  mom jean wearing, country music fan out there who would be perfect for me.  however, if she's addicted to meth or loves to dress their pomeranian up in little tuxedo's, i might still be hesitant, as both seem pretty "cray-cray" in my mind,  but who's to say.

so the question i'll ask to the void of the internet, or anyone who might read this post is this.  should a person have [dealbreakers] or not?  are there qualities, traits, and habits you're allowed to dislike, or is it best to be open to anything?

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