dishwasher[dilemma]

i have never taken, nor do i think anyone offers, a class on proper dishwasher loading.  over the years, i've simply developed and refined a method of loading and organizing i feel is right.

occasionally however, i will load my dishwasher in front of someone else, or help a friend load their own dishwasher after a dinner party, and without a doubt, at some point during this task i'll hear, "THAT'S how you load the dishwasher?" this is always followed by a set of directions on the "proper" way to organize the dishes, utensils and glasses.  sometimes the newly shown method makes sense.  more times than not however, the technique shown leads me to believe my friend should not be operating any kitchen appliances or any other complicated piece machinery for that matter.

lets take a look at a few dishwasher organization methods:

the classic: here is how i've loaded the dishwasher for most of my given life.  as you can see the plates are organized by size and all face the same direction. the utensils are intermixed and upright. if it seems flawless and well organized, i agree.

 

the middle school dance: a few months ago, a friend of mine suggested this method. you divide the rack down the middle and working from the edges, place the dishes so they're all facing the center.  this allows the sprayer to hit the surface of the plate needing to be cleaned, instead of the back.  i felt this suggestion was very logical, and i find myself using this method more and more.

 

the un-invite:  once i had a friend tell me the utensils should be placed downward. i found this incredibly disgusting, and it nearly ended our friendship.  you see, i feel, as utensils get washed, water will follow the natural laws of gravity and needs to drain AWAY from the eating surface, not accumulate there!  i find this method to be in opposition to all that is healthy and sanitary.  i am still friends with this person, but i no longer eat at their house.

 

the cuddle:  next, i had someone tell me utensils should be grouped by type. their reasoning, which had some validity, was because it makes unloading easier.  you grab the utensils by group and put them away.  however, they over looked one small thing.  it's not hard to see, for lack of a better term, the "spooning" action that takes place when all the utensils are the same.  after you close the lid, two spoons who met in the kitchen drawer, finally get a chance to get cozy in the basket and snuggle up to each other. while they're busy cuddling and spooning, they fail to notice one of them is missing the cleaning power cascade filled watery jets, and at the end of the day, and i'm the one who ends up with dried on hormel chili on my spoon.

the postmodern:  finally, although i've never met him, i can only imagine this is how the architect, frank gehry organizes his dishwasher.


so, do any of these make sense? any of them sound ridiculous? i'm i doing something wrong? does anyone really know the right way to load a dishwasher? is there some sort of  standard i could look up?  if so, please let me know.

maybe i should just ask ann landers.